Id held on just long enough to make her pass out. Id rest for a minute before my next plan. I had time.I cut her hands free from under her. With this...done I could position her better. Pulling her to the proper orientation I left her there while I went looking. I knew she was a kinky fucker so there would be toys around I could use. Didnt take me long to find them in her drawer, all neatly set out. I grabbed what I needed. I knew she would come round soon. Taking her handcuffs, I locked her. This was asking an awful lot."Ike? I won't tell anyone, I swear." I took a deep breath and released it slowly."I'm afraid of pain. Emotional pain mostly. I've been feeling so much of it lately. And I'm afraid no one will ever like me, that everyone I ever meet will think I'm a freak. Most of all I'm afraid of how much I want to hurt people who hurt me." Oh honey!" Izzy climbed up and lay down on top of me like I was a mattress. Her arms snaked around my neck and back as she pressed herself hard. I've never even kissed a girl. I don't even know what it would be like . . . So I masturbate a lot and watch a lot of porn—sometimes a couple times a day even—but in real life it just isn't there."Dad nodded, and said, "I know how that is . . . I went through some time of my college life that way. In fact, I was lucky I met your mother when I did. I was so lonely." Had you ever . . . had sex with a guy back then?" I asked, swallowing. I was nervous asking such things. "Have you ever had sex. I arrived just outside his apartment and texted him to let him know I was there. He wrote back that he wasnt ready, just hang out and he'd be ready in a few. What, its midnight, lets get this going. I waited for what seemed like 20 minutes and finally he wrote back, come on in. I walked up to the door, my knees knocking from being so nervous, but more so from excitement. I knocked on the door and he promptly answered. A good looking guy, great I'm not turned off so far. Although he heavy smell.
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